Why Both Partners Need a Seat at the Financial Table -- Especially Later in Life
“I don’t handle the money.”
“She takes care of all that.”
“I trust him -- he knows what he’s doing.”
“I don’t even want to know.”
Sound familiar?
These phrases may feel harmless, but when one partner is left out of the loop financially, the long-term risks can be significant -- especially as couples get older and life becomes more unpredictable.
It’s a pattern we’ve seen many times: one partner takes the lead on finances -- managing investments, paying bills, making long-term decisions -- while the other steps back. Sometimes it’s out of disinterest. Sometimes out of trust. And while trust is vital in a relationship, it shouldn’t come at the expense of engagement or awareness when it comes to your financial wellbeing.
Why It Matters -- Especially Now
As we age, life brings more curveballs. Health issues arise, priorities shift, and the possibility of losing a partner becomes more real. If one person has been out of the loop financially, managing those changes can be overwhelming.
This isn’t about turning every dinner into a budget meeting. It’s about making sure both people know where the money is, how it’s being used, and what the plan is moving forward. That kind of shared understanding brings peace of mind -- and can strengthen your relationship.
Joint Responsibility Doesn’t Mean Equal Tasks -- But It Does Mean Equal Voice
It’s perfectly fine for one partner to take the lead on day-to-day financial tasks. But the other partner should still be informed and included. Knowing how to access key accounts, understanding how decisions are made, and being part of the big-picture planning is essential.
One simple solution? Schedule quarterly financial check-ins. They don’t have to be formal-- just sit down, go over recent updates, ask questions, and make sure you're on the same page. A financial advisor can also help guide these conversations if they’re tough to navigate alone.
The Emotional Side of Money
Every person has their own history and emotions when it comes to money. When couples don’t talk about those perspectives, unspoken resentments or mismatched expectations can grow quietly in the background.
Money conversations help bring those feelings to the surface -- the saver vs. the spender, the cautious vs. the risk-taker -- and allow couples to shape a shared vision for their future.
Blended Families Raise Important Questions
For older couples in blended families, financial planning can be especially delicate. Providing for a surviving spouse may conflict with ensuring children from a previous relationship are also cared for. Trusts can help protect the surviving spouse -- but what happens after the second death? Who inherits -- and how do you define what's fair?
Questions worth asking as a couple:
- What does financial security look like for each of us?
- How do we want to provide for each other -- and our children?
- How transparent should we be with our heirs?
- Are our estate documents up to date -- and do they reflect both of our values?
Clear communication and well-documented plans help ensure that everyone is protected-- and that your wishes are honored.
Don’t Let One Money Story Define the Whole Narrative
Every couple includes two unique perspectives on money. If only one person drives the decisions, the other gets lost -- and so do opportunities to dream and grow together.
When both voices are heard, couples can explore new possibilities: charitable giving, travel, legacy planning, or how to help the next generation -- not just financially, but intentionally.
Bottom Line
You're either going to spend your money or give it away. The way you do that, and the decisions you make together, are where the meaning lies.
Don’t wait until circumstances force you into a financial leadership role. Whether you’re planning for retirement, caring for aging parents, or thinking about your legacy, these are
conversations to have together. Sit down. Talk it through. Stay involved. Because shared conversations lead to smarter decisions -- and stronger partnerships.